SASUKE! QUEER!
by Gaara of Sunagakure
Summary: A tale of Sakura and Naruto's quest to find out Sasukes heterosexuality. hehe. read and review PLEASE!
1. Chapter 1

**SASUKE! QUEER!**

**Chapter One: Duh Duh DUHMMMM**

**Disclaimer:** You own the T. W. B. Or also known as Time With Brittney and I, Oh I... I own the following information:

**Author's note: **I own those lovely bunch of coconuts so deedle-a-dee away from them! twitch twitch

**What you need to know: **Just incase you're one of those people who want to know what's going to take place in this fan fiction... you're screwed. But I will tell you who some of the people I'm going to use in this fiction are. They include the following clears throat Gaara, Lee, Iruka-sensei, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Kakashi-sensei, Itachi Uchiha, and sadly enough... Sakura. Eek.. Saying her name makes me feel all dirty. washes mouth out with heavy duty soap

It was just another normal day for villagers. Gaara was being creepy, Lee was being a bully, Iruka-sensei was being... sensei-ish, and Naruto was eating half his body weight in noodles. (The word "naruto" must have a secret meaning... like 'the love of noodles or some crazy thing like that T. W. B.) Everything was as it should be... except Sasuke. He was being abnormally happy lately. I mean... wasn't he always upset about something? His mother, father, and WHAT ABOUT ITACHI! He's acting like he cares about Naruto and Sakura too. The other day someone tripped Naruto and Sasuke acted as if someone had just mentally declared war on him. He silently cursed the burnett until they backed off and ran. I would too, I mean.. Evil Sasuke armed with ninja toys RUN B'YATCH! So... normally Sakura wanted to know what was going on with him. His remark was simply 'nothing.' So now Sasuke has been the happy, jumping, 'let's hang out' guy like what I like to refer to as a QUEER.

"Sasuke can't be queer! That would be just plain... NO!" Sakura said while trying not to take such an evil idea to mind.

"Ok Sakura, something's not right. He cares about me now, that's not normal." Naruto said looking at the noodle cup placed in front of him.

"You know what Naruto? MORE PEOPLE WOULD LIKE YOU IF YOU'D LISTEN TO THEM INSTEAD OF YOUR STOMACH!" Sakura yelled standing up and walking towards the door, "I'll prove to you that my Sasuke isn't gay. So you and me are going to find out the hard way... through investigating!"

"Wike wow?" Naruto asked while shoveling in mouth fulls of noodles at once. (Translation: "Like how?" this has been time with Brittney! Come again!)

"Eck, you disgust me. Stop eating and lets go, we have to go buy some supplies for our mission!" Sakura pointed to the sky as if she were waiting to be struck down by a lightning bolt from God.

—

that's all you get right now. If no one reviews then I'm not gonna waist what little free time I have writing a dead story. So if you think I should continue, say so... I already have this story planned out... it'll be interesting I promise! I 3 my freaks.. I mean fans.. I 3 my... fans... yeah... BYE!


	2. SHOPPING!

**SASUKE! QUEER!**

**Chapter Two: Shopping! **

**Disclaimer:** You own the power to tell me when to stop this fan fiction... but I have the power to ignore you and deny your existence. innocent smile

**Author's note: **Dear diary, my teen angst has a body count!

**FLASHBACK:**

**Stop eating and lets go, we have to go buy some supplies for our mission!**

**END O' FLASHBACK:**

Sakura and Naruto ran down to the store to get some 'essentials' for their mission. **(Sakura says it's a rank B just to get Naruto to follow along with her. This has been another Time With Brittney!)**

"So... true ninja's need stealth. And if we're gonna spy on Mr. Uchiha we need to improve your skills greatly." Sakura said skimming through clothes.

"What's that suppose to mean!" Naruto screeched realizing that what she said was an unannounced, and very feared, Sakura Burn.

"I'm saying... even you were a half deceit Ninja, which everyone knows isn't true, you'd still be loud and inexperienced... a pushover like yourself could never spy on a professional like my Sasuke!"

"Why do you always call him YOUR Sasuke! You act like you guys are going out or something. I bet you Sasuke thinks you're annoying and obnoxious, you know, like how you feel about me." Naruto smirked, thinking he had just proved Sakura wrong.

"DID YOU JUST COMPARE ME TO YOU! I WOULD RATHER BE COMPARED TO LEE OR GAARA! AT LEAST THEY HAVE MORE STABILITY AND MANNERS THAN YOU DO!" Sakura raised her hand and threw it across Naruto's face **(he got bitch slapped by Sakura! Hehehehahaha! T.W.B.!)**

They fought it out for a bit then begin to look for new sandals. That didn't know what they wanted specifically so they just walked around in the shoe section. **(YES! In my story they have Wal-Mart... TIME W/ BRIT!)**

"What are we looking for, Sakura?" Naruto asked. **(Not sure why I wrote Naruto asked because what's the chances that Sakura has split personalities? Pretty good chances heh? Do I really need to say the T.W.B. or have you guys got the point of the bold lettering in the middle of the sentences?)**

"Some shoes." She answered practically charging for the shoes.

"Shoes? Are you sure your not just buying an outfit to impress him?"

Sakura glared at him. When they finally reached the shoes, they saw a sign **(BIG SIGN!)** That said:

**New Ninja shoes! Ultra silent. Make a Ninja out of you!**

"Uhm... that's oddly specific." Naruto said with a confused expression on his face.

"I know." Sakura followed suit.** (Sakura's drooling. O.o)**

They walked towards the shoes and saw their secret.

"THEY HAVE COTTON ON THE BOTTOM? THAT'S WHY THEY'RE SO QUITE!" Naruto said holding a pair three inches from his face, with his eyes huge and glued.

"That's all? Cotton on the bottom of shoes? That's what makes them so expensive? Wow... that's a rip off" Sakura stated shaking her head in shame.

By time she turned to tell Naruto their shopping spree was over, he was purchasing four pairs of the "Super Silent Ninja Shoes." **(Only bought them because it had 'Ninja' in the brand name.)**

They were heading back to Sakura's house when Sakura noticed Sasuke on the side of the road. He was sitting on a wall kicking his feet. Sakura pulled Naruto to the side right before Sasuke looked up and saw them.

"What was that...!" Naruto started just to have Sakura's hands cupped over his mouth.

"Sasuke." she whispered pointing in his direction, "if he had saw us he would have left. And the sooner we start our investigation the sooner I prove you wrong about my Sasuke."

"So... we sneak up behind the wall he's on, wait until whomever he's waiting for shows up, and see what he's up to." Naruto said.

"He mite not be waiting for anyone though. So we need a new tactic."** (Sakura's thinking? RUN WHILE YOU HAVE A CHANCE!)**

"Here... you go ahead and I'll stay behind then. Take the other road so he doesn't see you. Then once he get's up and leaves or someone shows up... I'll tell you. Ok?" **(Even scarier... NARUTO THINKING! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO! breaks down in feeble position)**

"Wow Naruto... you thought about that all by yourself?"

"No, this same kind of thing happened on my favorite TV show... Kentru: Return from Darkness. It's about these ninja's who are out for revenge for their..."

"That's lovely Naruto, now give me the bags and join me at my house in half an hour. And please... if he catches you, don't blow your cover. Tell him you... you lost something or whatever."

"Don't worry," Naruto said with his hands behind his head and his eyes shut. **(It's his trademark now. Naruto has his town memorized so he's able to walk around with his eyes closed.) **"I can handle this.. Believe it! **(Hahahahahahahahaha aha aha hahahahaha... had to do it. He says it all the time.)**

Sakura nodded her head and departed from Naruto. She was praying that the show he watches will give him an idea of how not to be seen. **(Hahahahahahahahahaha! That was so just for feather! Turn into a Scot! I COMMAND YOU!)**

—

w00t! w00t! Chapter TWO IS UP! I saw that people had my story on alert so I said to myself... Spawn... don't keep them waiting. Good news to everyone who's reviewed... I'm debating on thinking twice before I kill everyone. So everyone who reviews lives (except Cloud... you die either way!) Mwahahaha Well... chapter three will be up as soon as I write it. Because on my other fics I wrote three or four chapters before posting them. I need a trophy! All who give me a trophy for something gets a cookie... but you have to read what it's for off to me or it doesn't count. LABBA LABBA! Chapter three: Sakura's Investigation! **(Just leave the fox out! RACIEST!)**


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